Secret Weddings

Jackie and Peter had planned a trip to Fiji for a few months. When they returned, it didn't take very long for people to start noticing the wedding rings both were suddenly wearing – they hadn't even announced an engagement prior to their trip away.

However, there are couples that wish to be married but don't want all of the formality or hype of an announced wedding so they have a wedding in secret. There are two broad categories of secret weddings. Firstly, there are weddings where only a select few are invited to a private ceremony that most people are unaware of. This includes an elopement with only the bride and groom present.

Jack and Susie decided they didn't want a big fuss over their wedding so they invited both sets of parents to a their favourite restaurant for lunch. As Susie's parents lived interstate, the parents hadn't met previously and Jack and Susie used this as an excuse to invite a close friend each to join the lunch for moral support! Just after all had sat down at the table, Jack excused himself. He returned with a celebrant ready to marry Jack and Susie.

Secondly, a larger scale wedding may occur but without the guests' prior knowledge. The guests may be invited to an engagement or other party and be surprised to witness a wedding ceremony.

Kelly and Sean had been together for a year or so when their family and friends received engagement party invitations. About an hour into the party, Kelly and Sean slipped away from the group unnoticed. Suddenly, Sean and a stranger were standing on the decking above. The Righteous Brothers' Unchained Melody began to play as Kelly's daughter appeared around the corner, scattering rose petals. Now dressed in white, Kelly followed the petal path, meandering around the guests, smiling at them and enjoying their amazed looks. She joined Sean on the decking and they were married.

In planning a surprise wedding like these, you need to consider how secret it is to be and how private the ceremony is to be. If you want a bridal party, it will be much easier if these people are informed of the wedding beforehand, but you must be sure that they can keep quiet about your plans!

Including a wedding into a celebration like an engagement is somewhat easier as a party atmosphere will be expected so any decorations won't give guests hints before the big announcement. Having a purpose for the guests, such as a meal or a formal party, can help get people there on time – many people will arrive late to a casual party and this could make timing the ceremony very difficult.

It's not impossible, but a very formal wedding will be very difficult to keep secret. For instance, anyone seeing the bride in a wedding dress will know the secret before any announcements. Of course, the wedding can be planned in secret and announced by sending invitations six weeks before as usual. This is particularly useful where the families are expected to want different things and a secret planning can prevent conflicts.

Surprising everyone with a wedding, either at the last minute or afterwards, can be a lot of fun and has a feel of romance and mystery to it.